Why Building Rapport May Be Hard for You

Not all of us are people-people. Sometimes, we may find it difficult to make small talk and engage people in conversation. In sales, we can hardly enter a prospect into the buying process without first "building rapport." We get to know the prospect and share a little about ourselves. We ask her about what's going on in her life, how her day is going, maybe share a few stories. Sometimes, though, we just can't get the words right. We stumble through the conversation and it's a little awkward. Why can't we build rapport? You'd think that it's the easiest thing we could do.

Maybe it's because we're looking at building rapport wrong: maybe it isn't a step in the sales process but rather an integral part of the entire process. Think about it. We've got a few topics prepared when we sit down with a prospect. Breakfast. The weather. Kids. The weather. The conversation can sometimes seem a little stilted and inauthentic. It is often clear to the prospect that we are merely talking to them because they are at that point in our sales process. And what wonder why it's awkward.

How do we talk to our family? Our friends? The people waiting in line with us at the grocery store? We don't have to think so hard about our topic of conversation because it comes out naturally. Why do we see our prospects as any different? They are people too. Do we feel the need to check "building rapport" off of the list when we are talking with our friends? Then, it should never be such a regimented activity with our prospects either. A natural, authentic conversation will go miles further than a scripted dialogue full of weather-talk.

So, next time we go in to "build rapport," we should realize that it is not something to be checked off of our list. It is not a step in the process. It is the development of a natural human relationship. If that "rapport" is established and developed naturally, the prospect will be a lot more likely to say yes at the end of the process. Because he won't see himself as part of a process. Instead, he will see himself as part of a relationship. And it's a lot more difficult to say no to a relationship.

How about this? Don't establish rapport. Live rapport.