Four Words That Limit Your Potential

There are four words we use all too often that make it incredibly difficult for us to be successful as salespeople. Those four words are, "It's not my fault." Your customer did not receive her order on time. You say, "It's not my fault." Your boss is upset because you are falling behind on reaching your quota. You say, "It's not my fault." Whenever a problem comes to you, your immediate response is to defend your own ego and throw up your hands in protest. Whatever the case may be, you are not to blame. It is not your fault.Sure, no one wants to believe that they have messed things up. No one wants to accept blame. Admitting fault is admitting guilt. It makes you vulnerable and can put your integrity at stake. However, it is much worse to be in denial. You may think that saying "It's not my fault" will take the spotlight off of you and remove the guilt from your conscience, but it will limit your ability to be successful and overcome obstacles. Here's why:

• Are you sure it's not your fault? In the book, Difficult Conversations, the authors discuss taking the focus off of "blame" and placing it instead on "contribution." If you are mugged while walking down the street late at night, it isn't your fault, is it? If you're trying to console yourself, you may say that the mugger is to blame. It is his fault. You are the victim. However, if you are trying to avoid the problem in the future, you will look at how you contributed to the problem. You were alone. It was late. It was a bad neighborhood. You contributed. You share some of the fault. The same is true in business situations. You may make yourself feel better by denying fault but, if you want to effective in similar future situations, you will look to how you contributed. If you look hard enough, there is probably something you could have done to alter the outcome. There is probably a part you played. If you resign to, "It's not my fault," you are telling yourself that there is nothing you could have done. Do you really want to feel that powerless?

• Do you even care? Let's say it truly isn't your fault. You didn't (highly unlikely) contribute anything to the problem. Still, using these four words is detrimental to your success. Saying, "It's not my fault" doesn't only signal that you aren't to blame for the problem. It also signals that you don't care about the problem. When you immediately jump on the defensive, you are making it all about you. Your customers, your bosses, and your colleagues do not care about your guilt complex. They care about their problems being resolved. When you deny your contribution, you are not only saying that it isn't your fault. You are saying that it isn't your problem. You are saying that you don't have anything to do with it. You don't care. Again, do you really want to be that powerless? Do you really want to give up the opportunity to be the hero? Playing the victim is much easier but much less rewarding.

• Isn't it still your problem? Why are they coming to you? Maybe it's not your fault, but it still your problem. Actually, it doesn't matter whether it is your fault or not. The point is that you are the one responsible for dealing with it. It isn't an issue of blame; it's an issue of problem-resolution. If you don't think it's your responsibility, maybe you shouldn't be in the position that you are in. Problems are opportunies for you to differentiate yourself. Do you really want to signal that you can't handle the problem? That's what you are saying when you say that it isn't your fault. "It's not my fault" is translated as, "I can't handle it." Do you really want to live that powerlessly?

"It's not my fault." Do you find yourself saying these words? For your own good, STOP! It doesn't matter whether or not it's true. It says all the wrong things about you. You are incompetent. You are indifferent. You are not the right person for the job. Take the responsibility and fix the problem. It's not about you. It's about them. Don't play the victim. Be the hero.