Suggestions, Requests and the Fear of Rejection

I recently read a blog post by Kelley Robertson about the way we phrase things when we are speaking with clients. Sometimes, instead of saying, "I've got something that's perfect for you," we might say something like, "I have something that you might like." Might? May? Could? Are these words customers want to hear when they are spending money on what you are selling? Probably not. The lack of confidence implicit in this kind of dialogue sends the signal to the prospect that there's a chance our solution might not work. Nevertheless, we tend to phrase things in a hesitant manner rather than a confident one. When we go to ask for the sale, we don't really ask for it; we just mention that we think it might be a good idea--something the prospect may want to consider. We make suggestions rather than requests. Why do we do this?I think that it's all about the level of emotional risk involved in what we say to people. If we make a mere suggestion and it is turned down, that's okay because it was just a suggestion. If we make a request, however, and are rejected--then, it's personal. We are being rejected. We are being turned down. We are being told, "No!" And that's tough to handle. So, we shrink away from being direct with our prospects. We don't make absolute statements or requests. We always leave ourselves an out so that we can be psychologically bulletproof when the sale goes south. When we ask for something, we are making ourselves vulnerable. There is no risk in merely advising.

The problem is that, where there is no risk, there is no return. The less direct we are with our prospects, the less they will feel compelled to make a decision. Human beings have a natural affinity toward the status quo. Rarely will a prospect change anything unless they are actually asked to--even if it is in his or her best interest. When we succomb to advice-giving and suggestive-selling, we are merely planting seeds that some other salesperson with more guts is likely to reap.

There is a lot of talk about conquering the fear of rejection, but I don't think it is ever something that can truly be overcome. It must simply be dealt with. We're all people (yes, even those of us in sales) and we don't like to be rejected. That's not going to change. It isn't about getting rid of fear; it's about acting in spite of it. Those who never try, never fail; but they never succeed either. The great salesperson lives by the mantra of Rocky Balboa: "It ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can GET hit and keep moving forward." It's about taking the rejection, getting back up, and then moving forward.

Success is only an option for those who are willing to fail. Are you willing to fail?

Acceptance is only an option for those who are willing to be rejected. Are you willing to be rejected?