Losing Interest in Self-Interest

I read a post recently by Molly from Women With Drive, in which she explained the unusual feeling she had as a child in passing another car on the highway and realizing that, in that car, was another family with a whole other set of experiences. I've felt that same surreal feeling my entire life whenever I run into someone new. It's hard to explain, but I'll give it my best shot...

I tend to view the world as if I am the center and all other objects in my experience revolve around me. When I meet other people, I add them as an extension of my world. They are stars in my galaxy. Moons in my atmosphere. Clouds in my sky. The world is mine, and they are merely part of it. Yet, when I stop for a moment and attempt to see my world from their eyes, something earth-shattering happens. My throat dries. My heart stops beating. My universe shifts. Because, when I see their eyes looking back me, I realize I am looking into another world. And in this world:

• I am the star.
• I am the moon.
• I am the cloud.
• I am the extension.
• I revolve around them.

Suddenly, something occurs to me: I am not as important as I think I am.

Just over two years ago, I graduated college with a degree in Economics. While in school, I consumed popular economics literature like it was candy. Self-interest became my mantra. Adam Smith's "Butcher-Baker-Brewer" hypothesis became the lens through which I saw the world. All of us, I believed, behave in such a way that maximizes our self-interest.  Life is about the pursuit of our own happiness and fulfilling our own desires. Even when we do seemingly selfless things, we only do them because it gives us greater pleasure than failing to do them.

Self-interest is, therefore, a very difficult worldview to discredit. And I am not sure I am even trying to discredit it. Though I do find it rather simplistic given the complexity of human nature, it certainly has its merit. As human beings, we may very well be nothing more than animals fighting over resources in a more civilized manner. It may be true that we are biologically hardwired for self-preservation and that we are biologically incapable of seeing others as ends rather than means. It may be true. BUT I DON'T CARE. It is impractical.

I am losing interest in self-interest. It's an interesting theory to ponder, but it is not a very good way to live. When I meet another person, worlds collide. I am not encountering an object in my world; I am encountering a subject in another world. My world is but a world among and within other worlds. There exist perspectives other than my own. The mere fact that I can recognize this idea as true is a revolt against my self-interested nature. If I am an animal fighting over resources, I can be civilized only by recognizing that the other animals need those resources just as much as I do. I can rise above my biological predispositions by empathetically recognizing others as ends rather than means. I can see the world through another's eyes.

What about you? What crosses your mind when you run into somebody else? Do you think, "What can I get out of this conversation? How does my hair look? How can this relationship work for me?" Or, are you like me? Are you taken aback by the fact that you're running into another world? When you experience this realization, you'll start asking questions like, "What is this person seeking from our conversation? Does this person feel comfortable with his or her appearance? How can this relationship work for this person?"

Give it a try. Step into another's world. You'll be suprised what you might find.