Book of the Week: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

This book hardly needs an introduction. For most people, when they hear the phrase "self-help," this is the book that comes to mind. But don't let that fool you! This classic work on personal development is not cheesy in the least. More than being about spiritual enlightenment, positive thinking, and other things of a transcendent, abstract nature, 7 Habits is about practical methods of developing principles and character that help you better interact with yourself and others. If you're not much of a reader and you want to read one single book about making you a better person, this book is definitely what I would recommend. If you let it, it can transform the way you think and, consequently, the way you live.

Here are my top ten takeaways from this masterpiece:

1. Be proactive, not reactive. "Our behavior is a function of our decisions," says Covey, "not our conditions." We tend to see ourselves as victims of circumstance rather than creators of circumstance. Covey encoorages us to take reponsibility ("the ability to choose our response") for our lives, rather than simply letting life happen to us.
2. Begin with the end in mind. Covey proposes a thought experiment in which you sre present at your own funeral, listening to what the people closest to you have to say about your life. What would you want to hear? What do you want your legacy to be? Covey encoursges us to make every decision within that context.
3. Become your own first creator. Covey suggests that all things are created twice. A house, for example, is designed (first creation) before it is constructed (second creation). Our behavior is the same way. Choices are made internally before they are made externally. The question Covey asks is, "Are we making those choices by design or default. Are we merely choosing out of what been taught by our parents, peers, experiences, etc., or are we consciously design our behavior ourselves. Covey suggests that we should get rid of the scripts for behavior that have been handed to us and, instead, write our own scripts.
4. Write a personal mission statement. Businesses typically have mission statements to keep themselves focused on their core values. People should be no different. Covey encourages us to develop a through understanding of our principles and to write them down as a reference for the foundation of our decision-making. If we have something concrete to live by, we are less likely to change our values with changing circumstances.
5. "Without involvement, there is no commitment. Covey tells the story of a hotel that had the best customer service he had ever experienced. When he consults with its owner, he discovers that every member of the staff had a hand in creating the mission statement. The lesson? If you are not heavily invested in what you do, it isn't likely that it will matter to you.
6. "Organize and execute around priorities." In this section, Covey introduces his classic time management matrix, implying that all tasks can be organized into these four quadrants: I). Urgent and Important. II). Important but not Urgent. III). Urgent but not Important. IV). Not Urgent and not Important.
7. Make deposits in the emotional bank accounts of others. Covey introduces the concept of the emotional bank account to illustrate how the way we treat others can influence the amount of trust they have in us. "If I make deposits into an emoitonal bank account with you through courtesy, kindess, honesty and keeping commitments, I build up a reserve. Your trust toward me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to."
8. Integrity is more than just honesty. "Honesty is telling the truth--in other words, comforming our words to reality. Integrity is comforming reality to our words--in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations." Integrity is about following through and keeping commitments.
9. "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Covey suggests that we should always diagnose before we prescribe. "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand," says Covey, "they listen with the intent to reply." We are offended when a doctor writes a prescription without listening to our interpretation of our symptoms. Why should it be any different in other conversations? Problem-solving is secondary; listening and understanding always come first.
10. To change our behavior, we must change ourselves. In a nutshell, this is theme of the entire book. "Change--real change--comes from the inside out. It doesn't come from hacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior with quick fix personality techniques. It comes from striking at the root--the fabric of our thought, the fundamental essential paradigms, which give definition to our character and create a lens through which we see the world."