How to Have an Out-of-Body Experience in Sales

I'm not really into the paranormal. I'm not a regular viewer of "Ghost Hunters" and I don't go to "haunted houses" for fun. But, growing up, I remember watching specials on TV about people claiming to have "out-of-body" experiences. They would be floating above their bodies, viewing them as external objects. They would watch themselves interact with others as if they were watching a movie. They felt "outside" of themselves. This may sound weird, but I always thought it would be interesting to have such an experience.

Authors Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, in their book Difficult Conversations, discuss the importance of viewing discussions with other people from "the third story." They explain that, in every conversation, there are actually three stories being told. There's your story, there's the other person's story, and then there's the story as it would be told from an independent third party. The third story is that of the counselor, the jury, or the mutual friend. It's one that doesn't pick sides and, therefore, offers keen insight into the discussion taking place. The authors of Difficult Conversations suggest beginning each discussion with an understanding of this "third story."

What if we had an out-of-body experience in sales? What if we had the luxury being independent observers of our conversations with customers? It would be absolutely game-changing to have that kind of perspective. We would be able to see when we are saying stupid things to our customers. We would be able to see when we are letting customers take advantage of us. Engaging in negotiations and overcoming objections would be so much easier. But we can't really have out-of-body experiences, can we?

Of course we can. When we look at our sales conversation from the "third story," we'll be able to think outside of ourselves. We'll be able to sympathize with our customers and better understand their concerns. Let's pretend for a moment that we have no skin the game. Let's pretend that the outcome of the sales conversation doesn't affect us one bit. How would "fair" look from that perspective? Let's find out and then shoot for that outcome with our customers.

Sometimes, we can't see the forest for the trees. Let's be a little more forest and a little less tree. Let's have an out-of-body experience!